The Descendants Hits Close to Home

It's Oscar Night!  The night of all nights we celebrate Hollywood, and the film industry's best work of the year. I love Oscar Night and always look forward to it!!

I have to admit I was pulling for The Descendants to win Best Picture. For starters, George Clooney plays the lead role. He was up for Best Lead Actor, as well. I related to George's character on many levels.

This movie is about a family of four. However, the movie revolves around the father (George) and his two daughters. George's character learns that his wife (who is dying) has had an affair. He is never able to speak with her about it, or even have a chance to work through it with her, because she is in a coma and dying.

Instead George's character has to work through the betrayal and hurt alone with his two daughters. It's a story about the power of love, facing your challenges, accepting your circumstances for what they really are and choosing to move on with your loved ones. In the end you can sense that everything will be alright, because the new family of three are there for each other. 

The overwhelming and powerful emotions, for those of us who have "been there," who have suffered and endured much pain and sadness..There are no words to explain how heartbreaking and heartwrenching it feels to have your spouse betray you.

Trust is lost and gone...needing to be built from the ground floor up, if both spouses are willing to work hard at rebuilding their marriage...Hope is dreamed of for a time...Then believed in finally again...

I do believe that marriages can be rebuilt, and become even stronger than they were before if..and IF is the key word...both spouses are willing to work hard together..It is possible and worth it.

However, if, like with George's character and many of our situations (including my own), our spouse is not willing to rebuild our marriage, we must go on...life goes on...

My favorite scene is the closing scene. George's character and his two daughters sit quietly on their couch back at home with their mother's quilt spread across all three of them. They sit together eating their bowls of ice cream, shoulder to shoulder, not saying a word..but they are there together. The message I took away from this scene was that they still had each other, they would be their for each other always...

I related to this scene more than any other scene in the movie. Why? It reminded me of my situation years ago with my two young sons. 

I found myself left to raise and care for the well-being of my sweet boys. We would often sit together in the evenings reading, watching a movie or simply talking together with our sweet golden retriever, Shadow, as well. We always knew we would be there for each other. They knew I would always be there for them. We even had a name for it...the Buddy System..we will always have the Buddy System!!

I hope we can all have the Buddy System with our loved ones in our lives...Knowing that our children matter, that they are loved is the greatest gift we can give our children and ourselves.

Is There Hope? Yes!

Is there hope after divorce? Yes, that's the good news!  There is always hope! Take advantage of all the resources out there, helping you navigate through the rough waters of divorce. Now, more than ever before, we have access to amazing resources through social media outlets, etc.

Let your friends and family be there for you. That's what family and friends are for, to help each other through the good times, the bad times and everything in between.

We can be a great strength to one another.  I don't think we realize the positive affect we have when we reach out to one another in a time of great need, such as going through a divorce.

Allow yourself to reach out to those that care about you. They will be your greatest gifts through this time of great change in your life. As women we have a tendency to turn inward, going into a sort of nesting period when we go through traumatic experiences, such as  divorce.

Let your loved ones and friends give you their advice, opinions on situations you are facing. Let them offer you resources that can be a great help. Examples could be co-parenting, child issues, financial settlements, leads to legal advice, referrals for counselors, etc.

Look for uplifting, inspiring, hopeful books that you can keep in your car, read when you have just a few minutes to take in a positive word. 

The first book we suggest is Hope After Divorce. It's a compilation of 33 true stories written by women who courageously navigated their way through divorce. Their brave and inspirational stories remind us that we are never alone. I wish there would have been a book like this when I went through my divorce. 

You can go to my author's page at  amazon.com/author/lisalabelle to learn more about Hope After Divorce.

Keep having hope, and move forward with your lives. You will make it through, one step at a time.

I am grateful for dear friends, and I hope you will be, too! You can do it!