Monday, November 5, 2012

Here Comes the Holiday Season

    I'm going to be posting recent articles I've written for LAFamily.com and their sister publications. My focus is on preparing for the holiday season, which is upon us now. Learning how to be a co-parent after going through a divorce can be taxing, frustrating, exhausting and trying. There are no "how to be a good co-parent" courses out there for us to learn from. I'm hoping my advice for the next month and a half will be helpful to you, and give you hope that you can be a good team player and co-parent, keeping your main focus on your children (listen to their voices). 

Here's my first holiday season article, enjoy. I welcome your comments, Happy Holidays to all! 

Here Comes the Holiday Season

Here Comes the Holiday Season
The holiday season is a happy time of year for most of us, but it can also be a challenge. For those who are divorced, with or without children, it can be a very lonely time. You have some time to prepare yourself emotionally and mentally for it now. Take the initiative to plan get togethers with family and friends ahead of time. It will help ease the loneliness, and isolation that is all too easily felt during the holidays. Feeling anxious, or depressed during the holiday season is not unusual for those who are divorced and single. Remember you are in charge of how you get through it. You can turn it into a happy time of year by creating new traditions with family and friends.
Here are some tips to help you prepare for the holidays.
Beat the holiday blues ahead of time:
Keep your daily routine regular. Plan to exercise each day, eat a healthy diet through the holidays and get enough sleep. I know, you'll want to splurge in the food department with all the goodies, and holiday meals. Just plan ahead of time to keep it under control, you know what I'm saying. Keep it all in moderation, and plan to enjoy this time of year mentally and emotionally. The mind is so powerful. Remember you are in charge of your thoughts and actions, even when it comes to getting through the holiday season. Take time to have some quiet time each day by going for a walk, meditating, doing some yoga. You'll need to clear your mind each day as you prepare mentally and emotionally to let go of yesterdays holiday traditions. It's time to look forward, and begin new ones with family and friends. Be good to YOU!
You have support out there:
Remember that you have loved ones, and friends who love you. They will be there to support, and help you through the holidays. Do your part to reach out to them, and let them know you need them. Take the initiative to plan get togethers with them, as well. It will lift your spirits if you take time to serve your loved ones, and begin new holiday traditions. Plan ahead, and make time for family and friends who value you. Remember it is okay to say no if you are asked to do more than you can handle by friends and family. You are loved!
Focus on enjoying new traditions:
Don't put undue pressure on yourself over the holidays. You don't want to not acknowledge that this is a tough time. If you have children, you'll most likely be sharing time with them. This means you will be without your children part of the time, which absolutely pulls at your heart strings. Spend quality time with your children, and create new holiday traditions together. Prepare now to plan fun outings with your friends and family, especially during the time you are alone. Take the time now to plan, so you know what to expect. You can create new traditions that will be memorable and cherished times together. It will look different than it did in the past now that you are divorced. It will still be special, because you have made the effort to create a new holiday season for yourself and your children.
In conclusion, the holiday season can be a tough time of the year. For divorced spouses, and single parents, it can feel very lonely and isolating. Be sure to take the time now to prepare yourself mentally and emotionally. Acknowledge the challenges that will come with sharing time with your children, and being alone. The sadness that comes with this is deep, so surround yourself with loved ones and dear friends. Let them be there to lift you up. Begin new traditions with your children, and cherish the time you have with them. The holiday season will look different than it did in years gone by. Choose to look forward, and make new memories that you will cherish for years to come. You can plan now to make this holiday season a happy one for you, your family and friends. Take the initiative, and be the one to plan get togethers. Be good to YOU, and surround yourself with those you love! It's up to YOU to make it a beautiful new holiday season!

Lisa LaBelle More Articles By This Author

Lisa has a B.S. degree in Education, working towards her MS degree in Counseling. She's taught for over 25 years. Lisa is a family and child advocate. She's the co-author and co-editor of Hope After Divorce, published by Sourced Media Books. Follow Lisa's blog at http://hopeafterdivorce.blogspot.com, facebook page http://www.facebook.com/hopeafterdivorce and twitter @hopeafterdivorc. She oversees and contributes to www.hopeafterdivorce.net. Lisa is the mother of two grown sons who are her inspiration.

5 comments:

  1. After divorce, lives of men also change. They, too, suffer depression just like women. Husband may not only lose a wife but the whole family. He is left with little money spending much with the trial. He can't be with his children anymore and at times, he will need to step out of the house. He just lost everything. Life after divorce for men is a serious thing. They suffer from failure and loss of relationship. Their depression is far greater than women.

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