Your Divorce: How Will You Get Through It?

It's that time again....time for my new article.  This week I focused on what's necessary and most important for you to "get through" your divorce. None of us have been given a road map of how to "navigate" through all the do's and don'ts, no one really tells us how to make it through. That's why I am so happy to be writing these weekly articles in hopes of helping others know a little more about how to "get through" one of the most difficult experiences one can have in life - a divorce.

Please feel free to comment, I love hearing your thoughts and good advice, as well.

http://www.lafamily.com/marriage-and-divorce/your-divorce-how-will-you-get-through-it

Your Divorce: How Will You Get Through It?

When you think about the "D" word, pain and heartache quickly come to mind. They say divorce does not kill you, even though it breaks your heart. You know what I am talking about if you've experienced divorce in your own life. The good news is that you will get through it, and life will get better. Time does heal all (or most) wounds. Taking good care of YOU is key.

Here are some tips to help you make it through your divorce.

Taking good care of YOU is key:
Taking good care of YOU, and putting yourself first is critical when going through divorce. It is extremely important to nurture yourself emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually in order to be able to make wise decisions, have the energy required, and the ability to focus on rebuilding your life and your children's lives. Divorce takes a toll on you in every way, so make sure you take good care of YOU first. It is critical to both yours and your children's wellbeing post divorce.

Consistency and structure for your children:
Keeping your children's lives consistent and well structured is critical. Children need structure in any situation. It is especially important to be consistent in divorce situations. Keeping your children's daily routines on schedule when it comes to sleeping, schooling, homework, extra-curricular activities, family time together, religious practice, mealtime, and time set aside to play with friends, etc will give your children the security they need and build their self-esteem. It's important for your children to know their own lives, responsibilities and interests matter as you rebuild your lives together.

Learning how to co-parent with your ex-spouse:
Learning how to co-parent with your ex-spouse can be very challenging. You've most likely never been in the position of being a "divorced parent" trying to figure out how to be a "co-parent." No one prepares you for this new title. Make an honest attempt to work out visitation plans together with your ex-spouse and your children. However, if that's not a possibility, seek out a "special master" or a professional who will help facilitate and teach you how to communicate successfully and peacefully with your ex-spouse when it comes to co-parenting. Check with your mediator, attorney or counselor for referrals. Continually improving your co-parenting skills as you work with your ex-spouse to raise your children in a positive environment is critical for your children's wellbeing and yours, too.

Replace pity parties with acceptance and gratitude:
Instead of having pity parties, replace them with acceptance and gratitude. Focus on all the good things happening in your life and the lives of your loved ones. We can all think of challenging, sad, difficult, tragic times. Life is meant to be a test to help strengthen us and gain compassion for others. Take the sadness you feel, and share what you've learned from your divorce experience with others who may be going through what you've been through. Be there to help others, and remind them that they are not alone; they will get through it. Life will get better post divorce. Remember that YOU hold the key to your own happiness.  Choose to accept your circumstance and have gratitude…it will be contagious.

Going through divorce is a refiner's fire, to say the least. It takes courage, never-ending endurance, a positive attitude, knowing you are not alone, and pure will-power to survive such a trauma. No one can fully understand what it is like unless they have personally gone through it. How you get through your divorce, and whether you choose to learn from it will be up to you. Taking good care of YOU, first of all, is key. You will then have the strength to take extra good care of your children, learn how to successfully co-parent with your ex-spouse and then truly accept your new life with gratitude.

Written By: Lisa LaBelle More Articles By This Author

 

About the Author:

Lisa has a B.S. degree in Education, working towards her MS degree in Counseling. She's taught for over 25 years. Lisa is a family and child advocate. She's the co-author and co-editor of Hope After Divorce, published by Sourced Media Books. Follow Lisa's blog at http://hopeafterdivorce.blogspot.com, facebook page http://www.facebook.com/hopeafterdivorce and twitter @hopeafterdivorc. She oversees and contributes to www.hopeafterdivorce.net. Lisa is the mother of two grown sons who are her inspiration.